Ana’s journey towards motherhood
“Not being able to become pregnant…
I found myself depressed, and it was hurting me and my marriage ”
For what seemed to be an eternity…
My husband and I tried to conceive and had no success. I consulted with several medical professionals and had various painful and costly exams only to determine—NOTHING. They didn’t seem to find anything specific wrong with me. I found myself on an emotional roller coaster month after month—anger, bitterness, frustration, sadness, hope, anxiety. Then, after my period came—I was disappointed and sad. The next month, the emotional roller coaster started up again. I found myself depressed, and it was hurting me and my marriage.
Advanced Maternal Age?!
At one of several medical appointments, I consulted with a doctor who attributed my infertility to ‘advanced maternal age.’ I was 34 at the time and had taken birth control pills for about 10 years. That moment drowned my hope like a heavy anchor at the bottom of the sea. The last ounce of hope I had been gone. And on top of it all—I developed feelings of guilt and resentment. I’d known plenty of women who had become pregnant at my age, even older. Why couldn’t I? I took the little bit of energy I had left and continued to try to conceive. And we prayed.
A friend told us about a Natural Method…
Despite emotional pain and the fact that my health state was seemingly out of my hands, I sought answers to my infertility. My desire to have a baby and become a mother only grew stronger. I prayed every chance I could. And in November of 2010, our prayers were answered (only in hindsight did we realize it). A friend who had attended a Natural Family Planning Presentation referred us to Lydia, a Billings Ovulation Method® teacher.
Lydia taught my husband and me the basics of The Billings Ovulation Method®; a simple yet scientific natural method I did not know even existed. She taught us how to keep track of my cycle on a daily basis to help me determine certain factors. I charted the events of my cycle month after month and learned about some of my personal deficiencies, for instance, a short luteal phase, not ovulatory bleeds (times when I bled without ovulation happening), and poor nutritional habits.
Wonderfully made -a woman!
As I discovered these things, I realized how truly amazing it was that God created us women with all of the indicators to allow us to plan a family, postpone childbirth—and even narrow down our complex women issues. I wondered why more doctors didn’t know about this. But even though I was slowly making discoveries about my cycle, I still felt anxious and impatient. I even reached moments when I wanted to give up charting completely. But Lydia motivated me to continue and assured me that I would soon recover my health. Patience was not easy, but it was necessary for me to clearly see any improvements, as little as they may have seemed.
She was right; my health eventually did improve, as did my emotional state. I reached a point when I didn’t feel desperate and helpless. I felt cool, calm and collected. My hope grew.
I was not quite convinced that artificial means were the answer for us!
After charting for a couple of months I attended a talk by Dr. Garza, a Natural Family Planning (NFP) gynecologist endocrinologist from San Antonio TX, the speech motivated me to take my gathered information to the next level. Therefore, I consulted with my OBGYN and showed her my portfolio. Unfortunately, she did not really seem to know what to do with it. She pretty much patted me on the back as if to tell me that I was on the right track, and she advised me to keep trying. She also referred me to a fertility specialist for information about insemination and in vitro fertilization, both of which are against Catholic Church teaching.
But I was not quite convinced that artificial means of conceiving was the answer for us. It seemed so unnatural. And as I researched the procedures I found out that, BABIES were created then destroyed as part of the process. Though at times, I admit, my obsession with becoming a mother did lead me to consider it, I chose not to take this route. I didn’t want the burden of guilt, and I continued to ask God for guidance.
The Chart as a tool for treatment, the blindfold of helplessness was slowly being removed…
The nearest medical professional, familiar with NFP, who would know what to do with my ongoing NFP documentation, was in San Antonio at the time. He reviewed my information and prescribed different medications depending on the specific events of my cycle—all information that came from my own charting journal! It wasn’t out of my hands after all! It was an incredible feeling to know that I could contribute in some way to this fulfilling desire of conceiving a child—that God had given me the tools and the blindfold of helplessness was slowly being removed. At my follow-up appointments, I saw obvious improvements in my hormonal composition. I met with the doctor a total of 3 times and kept up with my daily charts.
Finally Pregnant!
In July 2011, God blessed us with a “+” sign on a home pregnancy test. And 38 weeks later, our ever-so-loved little girl became the ultimate blessing on Easter Sunday. There is not a day that goes by that we fail to thank God for our baby girl.
I like to share our experience with other couples who seem to be in the same situation we were. I even urge friends who have suffered with miscarriages to learn about their cycles through NFP. I have also resumed documenting with the Billings Method™ (on a practical online chart) so that I could correspond easily with Lydia. Now, my goals for charting are different. We’d like to postpone pregnancy until my body is fully recovered (not to mention my energy level).
In the future, I would like to educate other couples on NFP—even my own daughter when she is older—about the using tools God has given us to understand our body’s indicative patterns.
Ana,
Wife, Mother, and Blessed in many ways